Leather and Cigarettes
by a-little-bit-enamoured
Summary: Two people at a crossroads in life find each other when they both least expect it and sparks fly. Set after Opie's death and continues from there. Time line is a little AU and overlaps with Life As We Know It halfway through at which point it becomes more AU. I would recommend reading this before Life As We Know It but they do stand alone quite well. Oh and there is smut.Tig/OC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: SO for anyone that has started reading Life As We Know It, this is the story of Cass and Tig and how they started out. It occured to me that the first few of chapters of this story need to go up before any more of Life As We Know It goes up as they take place in the space of time where Little Sister finished and Life As We Know It begins. This story's timeline begins to overlap with Life As We Know It by about halfway through at which point will update them both where necessary.**

 **Although I have previously referred to this as a series of One Shots for the most part it does read coherently as a story on it's own.**

* * *

Chapter 1:

It started out just like any regular day apart from the fact that she was feeling particularly down and broken that morning when she opened up her salon. It had been a rough night for Cass Carmichael. Her husband hadn't come home again and she finally knew why.

The usual hustle and bustle of the morning was beginning to calm her spirit, cheer her into the easy going soul all those around her bounced off. There was almost a smile back on her face.

Gemma Morrow was just about done getting her monthly cut and colour and Cass had just checked up to make sure all was to her liking. Normally she was more hands on with regular clients such as Ms Morrow, to ensure the reputation of her salon, however today distraction reigned supreme. There was paperwork to be done and it kept her mind off other things.

"How can I help you Sir?" Cass asked with a quick glance up as the bell above the door announced somebody's entrance. "I'm here for Gemma." A rough but somewhat sexy voice answered. Cass looked up from the counter and was immediately lost in a set of dazzling blue eyes. "Oh?" Her voice lilted as she found herself rendered somewhat speechless. Those eyes were breathtaking. "Her cars in the shop. I'm giving her a ride."

"Oh right. Of course." Cass managed, "and you are?" She asked knowing full well who he was already.

"Tig" he answered.

"Well ... Ah ... Feel free to take a seat over on the sofa. She shouldn't be too much longer Mr Trager."

"Its Tig. Just Tig. And I'd rather stand actually."

"Sure. Of course."

Cass felt captivated by this dark and handsome stranger who'd stepped into her salon. Well not really a stranger, she knew who he was. Alex 'Tig' Trager was the former Sergeant at Arms of The Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. Anyone who'd spent a considerable amount of time in Charming knew the reputation that preceded him and it wasn't exactly pretty. However with him standing here in front of her, Cass found herself undeniably attracted to him despite all the alarm bells going off in her head.

He wasn't what anyone would call a good looking man but he had a rough and roguish handsome kind of thing going for him. His dark hair fell in mussed mop of untamed curl, his nose unsymmetrically crooked like it'd been broken one too many times, his perfectly trimmed facial hair framing those rough handsome features. But above all else those eyes could make even the gruffest expression warmer. They were a blue of such intensity she felt she could get lost in them forever.

"And you must be Cass" he said. Cass blushed and cast her eyes down to the papers on the counter in front of her as she realized she'd been staring. "Yes." She took a deep breath and smiled as she looked up. "You should do that more often." He said, "It suits you." Cass blushed again. This was a side of Tig Trager she hadn't been expecting.

The buzz of her cell phone vibrating against the counter interrupted whatever was to come next. "I'm sorry. I need to take this." She apologised as she saw the caller ID. He gave her a gesture that said "By all means. Go right ahead."

"Den." Cass spoke into her phone as she turned away slightly.

"Save it Den. I'm over it." She cut him off as he launched into his usual over apologetic spiel. "Not home again tonight? Let me guess you're working late again?"

"Oh I bet you're working hard. How's Heidi? Is she working hard too?" Cass' voice was laced with sarcasm. She glanced sideways and saw the raised eyebrows of Tig. She was trying to keep her voice low but knew he'd still be able to hear her.

"Oh please! Her message on the answering machine at home didn't leave much to the imagination." She glanced back over her shoulder. Those smouldering eyes were still watching her.

"Yes she is that stupid Den." She tried to lower her voice further "She seems quite enamoured with your dick."

She sighed a heavy sigh, "Whatever Den. Don't bother coming home. Enjoy your night." She said sarcastically as she hung up and turned back to the man standing at her front counter. "Trouble in paradise?" He asked, the corner of his mouth turning up into a slight smirk. "Paradise? You don't know the half of it." Cass answered as she thought how sexy that smirk looked.

"Try me." He answered.

"Not enough hours in my day," she sighed.

"Am I interrupting something?" Gemma asked as she approached the counter her shoulder length brown hair freshly coloured and set with its trademark blonde streaks.

"No of course not Gemma. Just entertaining Mr Trager here." Cass addressed him like that on purpose to see his reaction. She got the impression he guessed her intentions as there was that smirk again when she glanced his way.

"Shouldn't that be the other way round. Tiggy here makes no secret of his ability to entertain women. Usually not women of your kind though," Gemma responded.

He raised his eyebrows at Gemma but continued to hold Cass' gaze.

"Thanks Gemma," Cass smiled as she handed back her credit card. "Would you like to make your next appointment now?"

"No thanks sweetheart. I'll call in a coupla days once I know my movements next month."

"Okay. We'll hear from you then." Cass smiled as Gemma began to make her way to the door. "See ya around," Tig breathed her way as he followed Gemma out.

Cass closed her eyes and caught his scent in the air as she took a deep breath to steady herself. A mixture of leather, cigarettes and aftershave filled her senses. She opened her eyes and shook her head. How could she take leave of her senses like that? She couldn't get involved with a man like Tig Trager let alone the fact that he'd never be interested in her. So why did she feel like he'd just undressed her with his eyes?

"Who was that beguiling stranger?" Came Stacey's voice next to her. Stacey was her assistant manager and closest friend.

"Tig Trager." Cass answered quietly. "He's ..."

"Oh you don't need to tell me who he is." Stacey interrupted. "His reputation precedes him. He was obviously quite intrigued by you."

"You think?" Cass answered.

"Hell yeah. He couldn't keep his eyes off you"

"Yeah well, I'll probably never see him again."

"Who knows? You might. Maybe he's up for the challenge of a mysterious and beautiful stranger."

Cass laughed. "Yeah maybe Stace." Although she seriously doubted she would, she wouldn't mind hearing that rough and sexy voice again let alone gazing into those unimaginably amazing eyes.

* * *

Several days later, Cass was removing foils from a client's hair when she glanced up at the sound of the bell over the door. The rough handsomeness that his dark curls and neatly trimmed facial hair gave him sent flutters through the pit of Cass' stomach. He cast his eyes around the salon as he leaned casually against the front counter. When those captivating blue eyes found her she found herself drawing in a breath. Once again she felt his eyes undressing her.

"Laura?" she asked her trainee who was sweeping hair from the floor, "Do you wanna finish up here for me? Just let me know when you're done and I'll come help with the rest"

"Sure." The trainee beamed at being asked to do something other than sweeping floors as Cass made her way across to the man at her front counter.

"Afternoon Mr. Trager. Gemma's not here today." She said as she approached.

"I told you it's Tig" he answered almost belligerently. "And I'm not here for Gemma. I came to see you." His tone softened.

"Oh?" she replied "And why would that be?" She heard the tone in her voice take on a somewhat sexy purr. She knew the reputation of this man and she knew she should steer clear of him but there was something about him that made her feel almost magnetized to him.

"I did say I'd be seeing you again" he responded as he picked up one her business cards and a pen from the counter.

"Yes. That you did," she purred as she watched him write on the back of her card.

"Perhaps you could call me sometime," his rough beguiling voice sent shivers down her spine and he thought he saw a hint of lust in her eyes as he placed the card in her hands and returned the pen back to its place over her appointment book.

"Maybe," She said quietly. He flashed a smile and gave her a sexy wink as he turned to leave her salon. She found herself smiling back as he whispered, "Be seeing ya," that sexy smirk lighting up his eyes.

The door banged shut and the bell tinkled as she watched him cross the road to his bike across the street. Had Tig Trager really just asked her to call him? She caught a whiff of his scent in the air and once again was reminded that she shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of getting involved with him.

She glanced down at the card in her hands. In lilting script, as sexy as the man himself, was his name and number. "Wow," came Stacey's voice from beside her and interrupting her thoughts.

"I told you he couldn't keep his eyes off you."

"I can't get involved with a man like him Stace. Can I?" she added doubtfully as she thought of that voice, those eyes and that scent that still clung to her nostrils.

"I don't know. Can you?" Stacey answered cheekily.

She couldn't help but notice that the smile never left her friends face for as she continued about the day.


	2. Chapter 2

Later on that evening after closing Cass sat on her red leather lounge suite, Stacey across from her as they ate a late dinner, as was their custom on a Friday evening.

"So how are things going financially?" Stacey asked as she poured herself a second glass of wine. "Not good Stace," Cass admitted. "Den's last stint at the Casino left me pretty fucked. He took out that loan using the salon as collateral so he could pay back his gambling debts and now he's gone and blown it all."

"Shit Cass. So what does that mean for the salon?"

"Means I might lose it."

"Does he know that?"

"Probably. Not like he gives a shit. Too busy banging Heidi to pull his head above it all."

"You're sure he's actually screwing around with her?"

"Positive. Listen to this." Cass said walking across to the kitchen counter and pressing play on the answering machine. A soft seductive female voice filled the air. "Hi sexy ... Where've you been baby. You're not answering your cell. I miss you. I can't wait to feel your hard dick all hot and horny inside of me. Oh how i miss it baby. I've got our usual room. Ill be waiting tonight, wearing nothing ..." Cass hit the stop button. "That's as far as I got through it. She makes me sick."

"Wow. She's a piece of work isn't she?" Stacey said.

"Yeah. Blows Den's working late cover outta the water." Cass frowned.

"Sure does." Stacey sighed. "I'm sorry Cass."

"Don't be. I served him with divorce papers today and I'm getting his name taken off the deed for the salon."

"Good on you. Its about time." Stacey lamented. "So what are you going to do about this?" She teased, holding up the business card with that lilting, sexy writing on its back.

"What do you spose he wants?" Cass asked.

"You wont know till you call him". Stacey grinned teasingly.

* * *

Tig Trager sat at the bar in the clubhouse, a whisky, neat, in front of him. He hadn't touched it. The clubhouse was the last place he wanted to be tonight even though the regular Friday night shenanigans were in full swing. He wanted to know where 'she' was, why she hadn't called. She intrigued him yet he couldn't put his finger on why. It wasn't just that she'd been gorgeous, those intense green eyes, the blush that came across her cheeks each time he spoke her name, her auburn hair cascading down her back in loose waves from the ribbon that held it in place high atop her head. The way it swept her shoulder as she'd turned to answer her phone when he'd been in to collect Gemma. And that one sided conversation. He'd tried not to listen but being clearly within earshot he couldn't help overhearing. Surely she'd known he could hear her. In fact he felt sure she had wanted him to hear it, with those flirtatious glances over her shoulder. They were flirtatious weren't they? He'd certainly thought so. Why was he so hung up on this girl? Woman? He could have any whore he wanted. But since Dawn's death he hadn't been interested in the croweaters and sweetbutts milling about the club. Their eyes were dead as he fucked them. He was more interested in the thrill of a chase these days and her eyes had all but danced out of her head just talking to him. He wanted the mystery of a woman whose face he didn't see flitting about all day going from one guy to the next. There'd been a string of different women lately all of which he had sought outside of the club. All for one night only. But he already felt that this one was more than that ... She had mysteriousness about her. A sexy sureness of herself despite the apparent unraveling of her world.

"Penny for your thoughts Tiggy", Gemma commented from beside him. He hadn't even noticed her approach. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Fine." he answered not wanting to talk. "Not thinking about Dawn are you?" she pressed for answers.

"What? No. Far from it." Just then his cell phone buzzed in his pocket freeing him from her interference of his thoughts. He grabbed it out of his pocket and flipped it open all in one swift motion. It was her. "I'll be outside", he said walking away. He could feel Gemma's eyes drilling through his back all the way to the door.

"Hi." he breathed into the phone once he was outside.

"You left me your number." Came her response. That voice across the phone was even more intriguing than he remembered.

"I did."

"Why?" she asked. Why had he? He wasn't even sure himself.

"You intrigue me." he answered honestly. More honestly than he'd even admitted to himself. Jesus what was with all this feeling and thinking and shit. He thought. This woman had him smitten.

"I intrigue you hey? In a good way?"

"Definitely a good way."

"And what were you going to do about that?" She all but purred into his ear. Oh hell that voice. He couldn't answer her. His mind was jumping too far ahead with all the things he desired to do to her, share with her. When he didn't speak she did.

"This intrigue ... I guess that means you want to know more about me?"

"Yeah. That'd be nice." Nice? Since when did he use words like nice?

"Did you wanna come over? I know its late and all ..." She lost the purr of her voice for a moment as she began to ramble. Nerves he guessed.

"Sure," he interrupted. "Where are you at?"

She gave him her address and he committed it to memory.

* * *

"Told ya I'd be seeing ya" he breathed. The line went dead. Oh hell. What had she been thinking inviting him over and at this time of night?

She looked up at Stacey's amused expression. "Wow. I guess that's my cue to leave." She smiled cheekily.

"Stacey, my god, what did i just do?" Cass asked seemingly mortified with herself.

"You invited a sexy and dangerous man over to your house. And convincingly so! I've never heard you speak so seductively!" Stacey said approvingly.

"I was seductive?" Cass asked.

"My oath you were! Did you not notice? Wow. Never picked you to fall for the bad boy Cass!"

"I haven't fallen for him ..." Cass trailed off as she heard the approach of what could only be his bike. Stacey heard it too.

"You will Cass. You will. I can see it in your eyes."

"I can't do this Stace ... What if he wants to ... Well you know?"

"What if he wants to what? Have sex? Why else do you think Tig Trager would leave you his number? You're a grown woman Cass! You know how to say no and I've no doubt strongly enough that he'd listen if he has any self respect. Aside from that your a soon to be divorced woman who is completely besotted by a tall, dark and handsome stranger. Dont be afraid of that."

"But he's not a stranger Stace. He's ..."

"I know who he is Cass but do either of us really know the real Tig Trager?"

The doorbell rang. "You'll be fine Cass. Just turn on the sexy charm you had going on the phone. If you don't want sex tone it down a bit. Easy, yeah?"

"I guess." Cass answered as Stacey opened half of the huge double front door. Den had been quite successful before the gambling and philandering had taken over his life.

"Hi. Tig right? Stacey. Just leaving." Stacey held out her hand. He took it in a firm grasp and shook it briefly before turning his attention to Cass who stood back. She looked different, fearful even, certainly not as confident and assured of herself as she had seemed earlier that day.

"Right ... Well have fun!" Her friend chirped from beside him. Cass managed to creep a smile onto her face. "Bye Stace. You opening tomorrow?"

"Yeah darl." And she was gone.

The smile on Cass' face warmed to the smile he'd seen earlier in the day as she turned her attention to him but he could sense it was somewhat forced.

"Hi." She said. He leaned against the door frame since she hadn't invited him in. "So is Cass short for something?" He asked. Her smile relaxed as she blushed.

"Not telling," she answered, a genuine flirtatious smile spreading across her face. "Come on in."

"Nice place." he commented casting his eye around as she moved to close the door behind him.

"My husband used to be a successful lawyer."

"Used to be?"

"He kinda fell on hard times."

"Should I be afraid of him finding me here?"

She smiled. "He's not coming home tonight. Too busy fucking his secretary. Besides I can't imagine you being afraid of anyone." she quipped.

"Can I get you a drink?" she asked when he didn't respond to her last remark.

"Got any whiskey?"

"I'm sure Den has some somewhere." She rummaged around the kitchen cupboards and located a near full bottle of whiskey and a glass. "Ice?" she asked. He shook his head, no. She poured some of the amber colored liquid into the glass and pushed it across the counter to him where he'd taken a seat on one of the barstools across from her. She fetched and refilled her wine glass.

He watched her as she flitted about the room and finally sat down on the stool beside him, so close that he could smell her perfume. It was flowery, he didn't know which ones, with a hint of vanilla. He could tell already that this one was different and what in God's name had made him decide to hit on Gemma's hairdresser he didn't know but God she was beautiful.

"So what brings Tig Trager into my world?" She asked taking a sip from her glass.

"You're beautiful and seemingly unavailable." he mused.

"Why? Because I'm married?" she asked. He gave a slight raise of his eyebrow and the corner of his mouth as he nodded ever so slightly and then took a sip of his drink.

"He got served divorce papers today. Does that make a difference?"

"You're divorcing a lawyer? Is that a smart move?"

"Is staying in a loveless marriage with a lying, philandering asshole a smart move?"

"Touché"

"Not to mention putting me into some pretty significant debt."

"How?" he asked.

"He's a gambler. Just lost every penny of a 50 grand loan he took out using my salon as collateral."

His eyes were wide with disbelief. "So that's the hard times he fell on. Has it always been a problem?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe. He hid it from me for years. I was young and dumb when I married him."

Tig didn't know how old she was but he'd guess no more than late twenties, maybe early thirties.

"How young?" he asked.

"19."

"No kids?"

"Nope. He's shooting blanks."

He smiled at her honesty. She loved that smile. She began to blush at how much she had told him about herself already in such a short time. She was surprised that she found this man whom most people feared so easy to talk to.

"So that's enough about me." She said changing the subject. "Tell me about Tig Trager." The smile fell from his face as quickly as it had appeared. "You don't want to know about me. I'm bad news baby." he answered.

"I'll bet there's more behind those sexy eyes than you're telling me." she flirted. She couldn't help herself. Just looking at him made her want to do wild things. The doubts she had earlier had diminished the moment she gazed into the depths of those alluring blue eyes. He watched her and thought he saw an element of lust dancing in her eyes. He began to think he wouldn't need to do much convincing to get what he'd come for.

"I was beginning to think you weren't gonna call." He said.

"And why did you want me to?"

"I told you already. You in ..."

"I know. I intrigue you."She interrupted him, "I need more than that. Why me? Surely you could have any woman you wanted."

"Really any woman I wanted, with a face like this?" He said with that sexy smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. He was surprising even himself with how relaxed and casual he had become.

"Don't knock it till you've gazed upon it with a woman's eyes." Her lips lifted into a half amused smile. He obviously wasn't too good with talking about himself or his feelings.

"Now get to it. Why me?" He kind of liked the way she made it sound more like an order than a question. He was slowly getting a handle on this whole situation and why she had such a hold over him.

"You're beautiful. You're mysterious. There's a story behind those captivating eyes of yours. I can see you've been broken before. You've got nothing on me of course but there's something isn't there?" Christ he didn't think he ha d it in him to be so deep. The way her lips curved into a sad smile as she gave a small solitary nod made him even more attracted to her. He'd sensed that there was something in her past that had left her scarred beneath the confident persona he had seen just a few days before.

"So you want to fix me?"

He wiped a tear from the corner of her eye with the side of his thumb. "I guess so."

"I'd like you to do more than that." She almost whispered as she caught his hand and held it against her cheek. She lent forward and placed her lips against his and kissed him. He had come here with the intention of bedding her but never had he anticipated that she would make the first move. He kissed her back with so much passion she thought she'd almost pass out. His lips were hot and soft as they melded into hers and tasted a little of the whiskey he'd been drinking. He pulled away and looked straight into her eyes as he broke his hand away from where she still held it against her cheek.

He brought her hand down to his lips where he kissed each of her fingers delicately at the base of each red painted nail. He could see in her eyes the effect his touch was having on her. He'd never taken the time to notice if a woman was turned on by his advances. It made him want her more. He was beginning to think that this one was worth keeping around even if for a little while so he had better get this right if he wanted her to come back for more.

She dragged her hands through his hair and leaned in to kiss him again this time biting his top lip then sliding her tongue against it and between his lips and into his mouth. He trailed a hand up her back all the way to the ribbon that held her hair in place. He tugged at it allowing her hair to fall loose down her back.

She brought her hands down out of his hair to the collar of his leather cut and pushed it back off his shoulders letting it fall to the floor behind him. As much as he loved kissing her and the taste of her tongue against his he had to pull away. He wouldn't last a minute longer if he didn't. He didn't think he'd ever wanted sex so badly. His whole body ached with the anticipation.

Her fingers were fast at work undoing the buttons of his shirt. He shrugged effortlessly out of it once she was done. She paused briefly taking in his tattoos before tracing a finger down the centre of his bare chest. He lifted her top off over her head and trailed a finger up from the small of her back before unhooking her bra and sliding it down from her shoulders in one fluid movement. As he did so she bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so sexy. It made him want her more.

He pulled her against him, bare flesh against bare flesh. His scent surrounded her, encapsulated any thoughts she may have had about telling him to slow down or stop and made a mockery of them. She was lonely and somewhat jealous of her husband and his secretary. This seemed the perfect answer. His lips made a trail down her neck and as she let out a soft moan he knew he wasn't the only one aching with anticipation. He lifted her up, and her legs instantly wrapped around his waist. He didn't know where the bedroom was and as if reading his mind she said softly "First door in the hallway".

He carried her to the closed door and she reached behind her to open it, her teeth tugging on his ear. He located the bed and lowered her to it planting another urgent kiss against her mouth. She tugged at his waist her nails scratching against denim and more leather, this time of his belt. As one hand worked at undoing it the other slid around to find the small of his back but found his gun instead. He brushed her hand aside and removed it making sure the safety was on before placing it aside. He unsheathed his knife at his side and placed it beside his gun. He met her eyes and searched them for a reaction. There was usually a look of hesitation or fear at this point. It wasn't usually something he thought about, just continued on anyway without waiting for a reaction but tonight he felt like he was laying his soul out before her, his gun and knife, confirmation of who he was out in the open, he expected her to pull away and he didn't want her to. Not this one.

"You okay with this?" he asked. It was something he didn't think he'd ever asked before. "Yeah." she murmured biting her lower lip again. He met her eyes again and they danced with longing for him. He ran his hands across her hips and around to her back pulling her towards him. He lowered his lips down her chest trailing his tongue in places before sucking on one of her nipples. She had great tits. He cupped one of them, feeling its fullness in his hand, as his other hand caressed the small of her back. She lowered his jeans to below his waist and let them fall the rest of the way down to the floor. He kicked off his boots and stepped out of his jeans leaving them where they'd fallen. He removed the rest of her clothing and she moved back up the bed parting her legs as she did so. He placed his hand between them as he crawled up after her and immediately felt how wet she was. He was hard and ready but trailed his lips down along the inside of her thighs. He felt her quiver in anticipation and glanced up meeting her eyes. They were locked on his face and in them he saw nothing but lust, longing and unhindered anticipation.

"Just fuck me already … please" she whispered barely audibly. He slid his fingers inside her feeling her warmth and readiness before moving away momentarily to find protection. After sliding it on he lay between her thighs and watched her eyes as he slowly entered her. He saw them widen, heard her sharp intake of breath, almost a whimper and watched her grimace ever so slightly with pain. His size had never been an issue before but she had been married to the same man since she was 19 so he guessed she'd never had anything like it before.

"I'll take it slow okay? If I hurt you make me stop." Again something he'd probably never said before. She nodded as he slid into her as gently as he could inch by inch. She gasped a little and dug her nails into his shoulder as the last of him filled her. He rolled to his side bringing her with him to relieve the pressure. "Okay?" he asked. He waited and allowed her body to expand to accommodate his girth. She began to move experimentally against him in response. God it felt good. They soon found a rhythm and he felt amazing as he plunged his full depth into her feeling the blissful pain of her nails scratching down his back each time he plunged deeper. He felt her hips begin to shudder and her walls tighten around him as she approached her climax. She was breathing harder the closer she got and let out a soft almost breathless moan when she got there. God it was sexy. Two more thrusts and he followed, his hands grasping at her hair. His beguiling blue eyes found her captivating green ones as he pulled out. "Wow!" he whispered as he stroked her cheek. She smiled brushing her lips against the leather cuff on his wrist. "It's Cassidy by the way." She whispered still somewhat breathless.

They lay tangled in each other for what seemed forever. ""Cassidy huh?" he'd murmured not long after."I like it." He had never been one for this sort of thing afterwards but he found himself not wanting to let her go. He felt a calmness fill his mind, a feeling that was almost foreign to him.

"Really? I grew up hating it." she answered as she traced the outline of one of his tattoos, her head resting against his shoulder.

"It's pretty." he said kissing her forehead. She smiled raising herself up to look at him. The blue of his eyes was soft and relaxed. Surely this couldn't be the same man that had such a dangerous reputation about town. She knew that he had no doubt killed people, just how many she didn't know. She was perplexed as to just how comfortable she felt with him. She looked back at the tattoo on his chest she'd been tracing her finger over. A cartoon like figure of a vaguely familiar looking woman toting a machine gun way bigger than herself. Somehow she fel this tattoo in particular held some sort of deeper meaning for the outlaw. "Who was she?" she asked looking back to his eyes but they'd changed. They'd gone dark, mysterious, angry almost. For the first time since meeting him a wave of fear settled into her stomach.

"I can't talk about it" he said closing off the conversation as he disentangled himself and began to retrieve his clothes. She watched him dress, a different man to the one that had entered her front door just hours before.

"Tig ... I'm sorry if I said something that upset you." She said sitting up and stroking his back, almost afraid to touch him.

He stood up and faced her. "It's okay. Not your fault but I have to go." He said already at her bedroom door. "I'll let myself out". She couldn't read the expression in his eyes.

She heard the front door close and then the sound of his bike peeling away. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. She felt used. Like everything he'd said leading up to and after the most amazing sex she'd ever had, had just been empty words. Nothing more. How could she have been so stupid as to believe he'd wanted anything more than just sex? He didn't give a damn about her and it had all been an act to get her into bed. She lay down against the pillow that still held his scent - leather and cigarettes - and cried.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He felt his shoulders relax and his mind too as he rode back to the clubhouse. Riding was the only time he ever truly forgot himself and all the fucked up things he'd done and all the fucked up things he was responsible for. Donna, Veronica Pope, Dawn, hell even Opie. All of them were dead because of him. Riding was the only time all that fucked up guilt was out of his head. Except tonight. Tonight when he had been with Cass, inside her, none of it had clouded his mind. It had all been about her. He'd never felt that way when he was fucking a woman. He'd never really cared whether they were enjoying it too but with Cass the closer she got to coming the more turned on he'd become. And afterwards as she lay there she was such a specter of calm like she hadn't just fucked a screwed up biker but an actual man that she felt she could connect with. He knew that it was her calm nature that he got off on. This one was different and he felt he almost wanted to keep her around even if just for the sake of an empty mind while he fucked her.

He thought about what Gemma had once said about the women they kept close. "You tell them all or nothing". How could he tell Cass about all the fucked up shit he'd done? He couldn't. She'd never speak to him again. Probably regret everything that they'd just done, seeing him for the evil he really was. Maybe he should give her a chance. But then he'd fucked up again tonight leaving like that so abruptly. He'd seen the shock and pain in her eyes as he'd backed out the door. He'd caused it. She'd never want to see him again. He felt sure of it.

* * *

Cass got into the salon the same time as Stacey the next morning.

"I told you I was opening up hon. it's your morning off. What are you doing here so early?"

"I couldn't sleep." Cass answered.

"That good a night was it?" Stacey chuckled as she set up the cash drawer in the register.

"Yeah, until he left without saying goodbye"

"Really? What happened?" Stacey asked closing the register and moving around the salon to check the spray bottles were all filled. Cass relayed the events of the previous night, right up until his sudden departure.

"You know maybe he didn't mean to hurt you. Maybe that tattoo means something really personal to him that he really didn't want to talk about."Stacey lamented once she was done. "Especially coming down from what was obviously such a high."

"Yeah maybe." she answered not sounding or feeling too convinced.

"Maybe leave it a few days. See if he calls you."

"Yeah I guess. Doubt I'll see him again." Cass said.

"Seriously Cass?" Stacey said placing her hand against her friends shoulder, "If the sex was as good as you said surely he'll be back for more."

Cass gave her a doubtful smile. She really doubted she would ever see Tig Trager again.

* * *

"You've been awful quiet lately Tigger." Bobby said from across the garage.

Tig looked up from what he was doing to see Bobby's somewhat concerned expression.

"Something eating at ya?" He continued.

Tig thought for a moment. Did he really want to lay out all his thoughts about Cass and admit that he had woman troubles? Tig Trager and woman troubles? That really didn't seem to go together in his head.

"Well you see Bobby, there's this girl" he said with a sigh.

Bobby interrupted with a shrill wolf whistle. "Let me get this straight. You've got woman troubles?"

"Shut up!" Tig growled.

"Sorry. Keep going. I'm listening."

"Well anyway there's this girl, well woman actually, that I fucked recently and it was the best God damn sex ever. Like she was custom made to put my cock in."

"Where's the problem? If the pussy is good then go back for more." Bobby said.

"Problem is I think I pissed her off."

"We talking whore pussy or lady pussy?"

"Lady."

"Well therein lies your problem. You can't piss lady pussy off and if you do you gotta be prepared to say you're sorry if you want more of the pussy." Bobby advised.

Tig sighed. It really wasn't in his nature to apologize, but his mind the last few days had been crazily fucked up. He craved her touch and he wanted so badly to gaze upon those captivating eyes.

"What's up with him?" Chibs asked Bobby as he approached the pair. Tig looked like he was deep in thought.

"He's got woman troubles." Bobby answered.

"I'm sorry. He's what?" Chibs chuckled.

"You heard me right. Woman troubles."

"Shut the fuck up. Both of ya." Tig growled starting towards his Harley. "I got something I gotta do. Not a word of this to anyone. You hear me?"

Chibs gave a flick of his head and a wink as he said "You have my word brother."

Bobby just chuckled and Tig heard Chibs join him in his laughter as he mounted his Harley and prepared to leave the lot. He couldn't quite believe what he was about to do.

* * *

It was right before closing a few days later that she glanced up at the sound of the bell above the door, to see him come through it. "You got a minute?" he asked. She glanced around the salon and saw that most things were being taken care of and that the last client was nearly done.

"Sure" she said quietly leading him to the tea room at the back.

He took her hand as she slid the door closed behind them. "I'm sorry I left like that." he said with a sigh. She was surprised. She hadn't pinned him as one for apologies. She wasn't sure what to expect when he'd come in but this certainly wasn't it and she wasn't sure how to respond.

"It's okay I ..."

"No it's not." He interrupted her. "I should have explained, but that tattoo, I can't tell you about it. Not yet."

"Not yet? But one day?" She asked somewhat shyly.

"One day." he answered with a reassuring smile.

"So that means you want to see me again?" She asked somewhat incredulously. He answered her by nodding as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I really like you Cass." He said as he planted a kiss against her lips. He lowered his arm to behind her thighs and lifted her up to the counter by the sink and stood between her legs. He ran his hand up the inside of one of her thighs, up under her skirt and started to slide his fingers beneath her underwear.

"You know we can't do anything here right?" she giggled slapping his hand away.

"Your place? Tonight?" he said kissing her neck. "Yeah." she breathed. "Oh Cassidy." he said trailing his lips down her collarbone and inhaling the scent of her flowery vanilla perfume. "Can I call you that?" he asked finding her eyes. The depths of those green eyes were endless and he felt that unfamiliar sense of calm wash over him again.

"Yeah, but only when we're alone. Never in front of anyone else."

"You really don't like it do you?"

She shook her head, no. He saw her eyes change, their depths beheld a pain he couldn't begin to describe. It was that brokenness that intrigued him the most about her.

"Later, kay?" he asked.

"Later," she whispered seductively. She kissed him once more before sliding off the counter and leading him back through her salon.

* * *

They had sex every night for the rest of that week mostly at her place, the last night at his when Den had been there despite the fact she'd kicked him out the week before.

He'd soon learnt that when she bit her lower lip she was so turned on she could barely contain herself. He found it so unimaginably sexy.

"He signed the divorce papers today." she said afterwards the night they were at his place.

"Does that mean I no longer need to feel guilty about fucking a married woman?"

She laughed. "Like you ever did!"

She rolled over onto his chest and kissed him, hands ravaging through his hair. He bit her lip before for plunging his tongue back into her mouth. She felt his hands trail roughly across her back, over her hips resting on her ass momentarily before gripping it hard. Her body rippled with pleasure readying to go again. He pressed a hand up along the ridge of her back all the way to her shoulder rolling her over. His lips blazed a trail down her neck and across her chest. He cupped her breasts in his hands before bringing one to his lips, his tongue circling her nipple, all the time looking up into her eyes and watching them dance with desire.

Her hands roamed everywhere they could reach as he kissed her mouth again this time fiercely and urgently. He pulled away slightly as he felt her hand brush against his cock not allowing her to draw it into her it as he knew she wanted to. "Not yet darlin,'" he murmured moving his lips down across her body again, continuing down further this time. He slid two fingers inside her as his lips explored the insides of her thighs. He felt her insides tense hungrily around his fingers and knew instinctively without looking up that she was biting her lower lip, head tipped back, eyes shut. The soft moan she let out as his thumb stroked against her clit sent desire pulsating through him. He caressed her clit and delicately ran his fingers in and out of her until he'd brought her right to the cusp of coming. Just as he felt her hips start to quiver he pulled his hand away and rose up above her to gaze into her eyes. "Oh baby," she moaned. "That's so cruel!"

He took her hand and placed it down against him where she stroked and pulled till he was hard and hot. She pressed against his back forcing his hips down between her thighs and drew him into her. He gasped and plunged in deeper, resting his elbows either side of her head, crushing his lips against hers, as he drew out nearly his whole length and plunged back in hard again and again. "Oh yes, give it to me hard Tigger," She moaned knowing she was going to come soon. He knew it too and didn't try to slow her as he normally would. He thrust faster to catch up then slowed as he felt her walls tighten and contract around him as she grew closer. She drew his tongue into her mouth and ran her hands down his side feeling his hips tense as he thrust deep into her coming at the same time she felt her own climax make her insides explode in ecstasy. He pulled his mouth away from hers and found her eyes. "You're right not guilty." He smirked gazing into them. She laughed as he rolled to his side pulling her with him.

She couldn't help but admit to herself that she was beginning to have feelings for him and wondered if he felt the same. As they lay together afterwards she felt connected to him and felt him relax in her arms. She wondered if he cared for her the way she was beginning to care for him. The sex was amazing but she found herself wondering whether that's all it was to him. She had noticed the way his eyes relaxed and became so much softer as they made love and she could tell that it was something he wasn't use to, but she could also tell that he got off on it. The calmer he became the more amazing the sex was.

As he lay next to her smoking a cigarette that night she looked across at him. She felt sure that he was only keeping her around because of the effect sex with her had on him. She also felt sure that he had no feelings for her other than his need for sex.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so here's the deal. I will continue to update this story only until it catches up in time to Life As We Know It. After that I think I will concentrate on slowing intergrating Cass more into Life As We Know It as both storylines from there are the same. (make sense?). I may still use this story for her perspective on certain events so that her story doesn't take too much away from Hailey and Happy's.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Here he comes now." Chibs said to Jax.

"Who? The one who delivered the guns for us?" Jax said looking up across the lot.

"Yeah. Dennis Carmichael. We gave him till today to deliver the money remember?"

"I remember."

"Wait what did you say his name was?" Tig interrupted coming across from the car he'd been working on.

"Dennis Carmichael. Why you know him from somewhere Tiggy?" Chibs asked.

"Ah shit!" Tig cursed. "I've been screwing his wife this last week."

"Jesus Christ, Tig. Do you ever think with the head on your shoulders?" Jax asked.

"Wow you really do have woman troubles don't ya?" Chibs quipped.

"What? They're gettin' a divorce, besides he's fucked her over with his gambling debts."

"Really? Is that why he was so desperate to make a deal?" Jax asked.

"Probably." Tig said looking ready for a fight.

"Just let me handle this man. And for Christ sake don't punch him out." Jax said to Tig whose fists were balled at his sides.

"I'll do my best," he said laying eyes on the man he'd bet was responsible for much of the pain he saw in Cass' eyes so often.

"Do you have it?" Jax asked.

"No I don't. I'm sorry. I need a few more days ... I'll get it to you I promise." He groveled. His tie was loose and he looked like he'd slept in the business shirt and pants he was wearing.

"All we asked was for you deliver the guns to our client to take the heat off us, gave you a 15% cut and now you don't have the money to pay up?"

"I'm sorry. I took my cut and then I don't know what happened to the rest. I'll get it back. I swear." He groveled eyes cast toward the ground not meeting anyone's gaze.

"Did you gamble it?" Jax asked.

"What?" he looked caught out. "Who told you that?"

"I have sources."

For the first time Den looked up and saw the fury in Tig's eyes. "You. It's you she's been fucking isn't it?" He asked.

"You don't want the answer to that question." Tig all but growled as the groveling little fucker met his eyes. This man did not deserve a woman as good as Cass.

"Steady brother." Jax said glancing across at Tig.

"I've seen a Harley in her driveway. Knew she had to be fucking some biker. Didn't pin it to be a Son though."

Tig's eyes darkened with fury and he swung his fist with the intention of knocking the bastard out. Jax however intercepted and caught his fist mid strike. "No Tig. He's not worth it."

"We'll give you two more days." He turned his attention back to Dennis Carmichael. "If you don't have it then you don't wanna be showing your face around this lot. Understand?"

He nodded still eyeballing Tig.

"Go." Jax said. He turned and walked out of the lot as quickly as he could without running.

Jax turned to Tig. "His wife ... Ex ... Whatever she is ... What's her name?"

"Cass." Tig answered furling and unfurling his fists at his sides.

"Do you think he'll hurt her?"

"Nah. I don't think so. She'd just a soon tear him a new one."

"Sounds like your kind of woman. Keep your distance from her for a few days okay? I don't want her getting caught up in this."

Tig nodded. He understood the President's concern and he too didn't want to involve Cass in any of it. He was actually beginning to admit to himself that he cared enough to want to keep her safe.

* * *

She hadn't seen him for three days. He hadn't answered any of her calls. She didn't know whether it had been anything she'd done or not. She figured perhaps he was done with her and had moved onto some other woman. That thought stung but every time the bell above the door rang she expected it to be him, longed for it to be him.

For the third time that morning when the bell rang she looked up hoping to meet his eyes. But Lieutenant Eli Roosevelt entered through her salon door.

"I'm looking for Cassidy Carmichael" he said his face meaning business, a folder held in his left hand, his right resting upon his gun in its holster. "That would be me." Cass said nervously from behind the counter "Is something wrong?" She asked.

"Is this your salon Mrs. Carmichael?" he asked ignoring her question.

"Yes" Cass answered quietly.

"Is there somewhere we could go to talk?"

"Sure," she said leading him through the salon to the tea room. She could feel the eyes of every one of the girls she employed watching her.

He slid the door closed behind himself and asked her to take a seat. She did so as he sat across from her placing the folder on the table between them. She couldn't help but wonder what was in that folder.

"Could you tell me where your husband is Mrs. Carmichael?"

"Please call me Cass."

"Very well. Cass do you know where your husband is right now?"

"No, I've hardly seen him all week. We're getting a divorce."

"I'm sorry to hear that." he answered. "So you're aware of his activities over the past few months?"

"You mean his gambling? Yes I'm suffering financially for it too."

"I'm afraid it's more than that Cass." Lieutenant Roosevelt said. "We've been investigating Dennis for embezzlement and fraud."

Her wide eyes and open mouth told him everything he needed to know before she even spoke. "I had no idea." she choked out.

"We understand he has also been partaking in some sort of dealings with some of the gangs and motorcycle clubs in the area including Samcro. Did you know anything about that?"

Her face drained of all color. "No." she said so quietly he could barely hear her.

"Do you think you could identify him from a series of photos I'm about to show you?" He asked.

She nodded. He opened the folder he'd placed between them and spread three photos out in front of her. She felt her stomach rise to her throat as her eyes fell upon them. She rose and made it to the sink just in time, vomiting over what she'd just been shown.

The first photo showed a single entry wound to the back of his head. The second was a side profile, clearly Den. The third was front on and half his face was missing, blown to pieces. She stood over the sink shaking. "Is it him?" Roosevelt asked from behind her. She nodded. She couldn't speak.

She turned only once she was sure he'd put the photos away. "Is that all?" she asked.

"There's one other thing."

"And that is?" She whispered not trusting her voice.

"I understand you've been rather close to Tig Trager recently. Are you sleeping with him?"

"With respect, Lieutenant, what business is that of yours?"

"I only wondered if this were the end to some sort of discrepancy between the two men in your life."

"Your suggesting Tig did ... Did that?" she motioned towards the folder now back in his hands. "He would never hurt me like that."

"Maybe he thought he'd be doing you a favor?"

She shook her head violently. "No he would never hurt me like that." she repeated.

"So by that I understand you are sleeping with him? Be careful Ms Carmichael. You don't know what Trager is capable of."

And with that he slid the door across and left.

She stood in the doorway of the tea room and watched him go. Her face was drained of all color. Her usually vibrant green eyes were glassy, seeing something other than what was in front of her.

"Cass? Are you okay?" Stacey asked.

"No. No I'm not. I have to go home. There's something I need to take care of. Something I need to do."

She grabbed her bag from the counter next to her and walked straight through the salon and out the door without another word.

"Shit." Stacey muttered under her breath. She'd only ever seen her friend like this once before. She didn't want to watch her go through it all over again.

She saw Cass had left her phone at the front counter. She picked it up. She knew who she had to call. The only problem was she knew he hadn't been answering her calls for days.

'Please pick up. Please pick up' she chanted under her breath as she listened to it ring.

"Cass." he said.

"Oh thank god" she responded. "No not Cass, Stacey. But she needs you Tig."

"No I mean she really needs you. Roosevelt was just in here asking her a load of questions out the back. I don't know what he wanted but when she left here she was not in a good way."

"She said she had to go home and take care of something. Please you have to go to her ..."

"Her face was ash white and her eyes were glassed over like she wasn't even there if you get me. Please Tig I've only ever seen her like this once before and well she tried to kill herself that night."


	5. Chapter 5

"Shit." he said as he placed his phone down in front of him. He'd heard it ringing as soon as he got out of Church and after ignoring her calls for days had answered it instantly. He'd been hesitant to leave it outside Chapel as was protocol and when he'd answered and didn't hear her voice but her friends instead he'd known why. He'd had a feeling since the beginning of church that something wasn't right.

"Something a problem brother?" asked Chibs.

"It's Cass. Roosevelt was in her salon asking questions and then she just up and left. I have to find her."

"You think she's in danger?" Jax asked.

"I don't know. But I need to go to her."

"You want back up?" Jax asked...

"Yeah" Tig said already heading to the door.

"Chibs go with Tig. Happy, Bobby, your with me. Tig we'll find out what Roosevelt wanted with your girl." They locked hands briefly before Tig disappeared out the door

His girl. He guessed she was his girl, even though he'd never really thought of her that way.

* * *

After Stacey's words on the phone he had no idea what to expect when he got to Cass' house. Her car was in the driveway when he and Chibs pulled up. He dismounted from his bike and walked swiftly to the door. He tried the bell first with no response. He banged against the door with his fist. "Cass I know you're in there. Open up!" he yelled through the door. Still no response. Chibs tried the handle. Locked. Between them they managed to break the heavyset door in. Tig drew his gun. He wasn't sure why, but quickly holstered it again when he saw her.

She was passed out on the couch. A half bottle of whisky was leaking slowly across the carpet and a number of prescription pill containers lay upended, half their contents strewn across the floor also.

"Jesus Cass! What the fuck" he said running over to her. She was breathing but only barely. "Call an ambulance" he barked at Chibs who was already out the door doing so.

He took a moment to look at the labels of the pill bottles. All of them had her name on them ... Valium, Prozac, others he'd never even heard of. "Fuck Cass! Don't do this to me!" He said slapping the side of her face. She stirred. "Come on baby, come back to me."

"Tiggy" she murmured before she was out again. "Jesus Christ Cass. Don't fucking leave me baby. Don't fucking leave me..." he pleaded as a paramedic pulled him away.

"We need to get her to the hospital sir. If you're a friend you can ride in the ambulance with her."

Was he a friend? He didn't even know anymore. All he knew was he couldn't let her die.

* * *

Chibs followed behind the ambulance, arriving at the hospital at the same time as Jax and the others. Chibs had called them to fill them in.

"How is she?" Jax asked Tig as he stood watching them wheel her away down the corridor. "I don't fucking know!" he dragged his hands through his hair. "What did you find out?" he asked.

"Her husband's dead. Roosevelt was asking her if she knew anything." Jax relayed.

"Wait. What? He's dead? How?" Tig was stunned.

"Bullet to the back of the head. Point blank. Roosevelt showed her photos."

"Oh Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. Why the fuck did he show her pictures of her husband with his fucking face blown off? Is it any wonder she went and fucking did this?" Tig paced the hospital corridor.

"It gets worse." Jax said.

"How the fuck could it be any worse?" Tig asked.

"You're their main suspect."

"What? You're kidding right? What the fuck? Why would I ..."

"He knew Dennis had dealings with us that had gone sour. And he knew you'd been having sex with Cass. I get the impression he weaseled that bit of info from her."

"Did you tell him where I was?"

"No but it won't take him long to figure it out."

"I need to know she's okay before he fucking turns up."

"We'll clear your name of this brother. Don't you worry about that" Chibs said patting a hand against his shoulder.

Tig sat with his head in his hands waiting. Waiting for news of Cass or waiting for Roosevelt to come and arrest him for a crime he didn't commit. Whichever came first.

The others were all there now too, ready to jump to his defense should the latter occur first.

It was getting dark outside when Tara came striding down the hallway. "Tig?" she said. He looked up searching her face for news. "She's going to be okay." She said when she saw the anguish all over his face.

"Oh thank Christ!" he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"I came to tell you she's just coming round and she's asking for you."

* * *

"Hi..." she murmured coming out of a groggy sleep. Tig held her hand at her side.

"You know where you are? And why?" He asked her.

"In the hospital" she answered trying to pull herself out the sleep to which her mind still clung. "And yeah. I know why."

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He asked her.

"Truthfully I don't know that I was thinking. Roosevelt came by the salon and ..."

"I know about Roosevelt. Stacey told me and we filled in all the gaps but you, why'd you go and take all that shit?! You could of fucking died Cassidy!"

"I just wanted those pictures out of my head." Tears welled at the corners of her eyes. "He may have been my ex but he was still 10 years of my life."

"You don't need to explain. He should never have shown you those. Don't think his mind is really in the right place since his wife got killed." She could see the anger in his eyes. She stroked her thumb across the back of his hand. She watched his eyes begin to relax, his whole body also. He still couldn't understand the effect her touch had on him.

"So 10 years huh?" he asked stroking her cheek with his other hand. "That makes you 29?"

She nodded.

"You know that makes you a whole lot younger than me right?"

"Is that a problem Mr. Trager?" She asked sleepily.

"Only when you call me that."

She giggled "I'll make a note of that."

He kissed her hand. "Stacey said you've tried something like this before?"

She closed her eyes for so long that he almost thought she'd fallen back asleep. When she opened them again the pain they beheld was far more than he'd ever seen in them. "You wanna tell me about it?" He asked gently.

"Not here." She said. "I fucking hate hospitals."

"You're not upsetting my patient are you Tig?" Tara asked as she walked into the room seeing the tears in Cass' eyes. "No he's not. I'm fine." Cass answered instead.

"Just as well. Now Cass I need to check your vital signs and then you need to let her rest." She said directing the last part at Tig.

"When can I go home?" Cass asked when Tara was done checking her over.

"You'll be here at least a few days." Tara said as she left the room.

"Don't leave me?" she pleaded to the man beside her.

"I'm right here Baby. Not going anywhere." he assured her. He realized how important she had become to him as he said those words. He almost hated to admit it but he didn't want to leave her side.

"Alex," she murmured as she drifted back to sleep "I know you didn't kill him."

* * *

A/N: Okay so short update but a couple of longer ones coming up. It has taken alot for me to get this update up - internet issues, computer crashes you name it. While my new laptop is back from warranty repair it still won't work as they left it in test mode so waiting on them at the end to figure out how to fix it without me having to send it back again! Updates will be whenever I can get them up which may be daily or longer in between. Technology is not my friend lately!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

He kept a vigil by her bedside. She slept a lot during the first couple of days. Whenever she woke he was there either sitting up holding one of her hands or laying back in the chair almost asleep himself. His presence made her feel calm.

The first time she awoke and he wasn't there, Chibs was. She panicked.

"Where is he? Where's Tig?" she demanded feeling more awake than she had in days.

"Relax sweetheart. He's gone home to get some shut eye. He's been here with you for the past two days while you've been doing all the sleeping. The names Chibs by the way." He said in his Scottish drawl.

Cass decided right there and then that she liked Chibs. He had a laid back easy nature to him. Not as gruff and serious as Tig could be.

"Did Roosevelt catch up with him yet?" She asked apprehensively.

"Yeah. But there's obviously no evidence tying him to it." Chibs answered her. "We think perhaps he was trying to rattle your cage."

"Well he succeeded with that."

"Absolutely he did. You gave Tiggy and the rest of us a right scare. It wasn't a pleasant way to meet you sweetheart!"

"Sorry about that."

"We thought you were dead Cass. You shoulda seen what that did to him."

"Does he really care about me that much?" she asked.

"Damn right he does. He may not say it but he cares alright. If you'd seen him the night we found you, you wouldn't need to ask that question."

The door to her room opened and Tig came in a bunch of flowers in his hand.

"Flowers Tiggy?" Chibs remarked. "If that doesn't answer your question sweetheart then I don't know what does!" Cass smiled.

"What was the question?" Tig asked.

"Never you mind, brother." Chibs answered winking at Cass. "Gemma help you pick those out?" he teased. Cass giggled.

"Fuck off" Tig said as he placed flowers down beside Cass.

"Any news?" Chibs asked before he left. "Nah. Jax said church at 4 though."

They spoke quietly at the door for a few minutes before Chibs briefly gripped his shoulder glancing over at Cass. "See you later brother" he said before leaving.

Tig turned his attention to Cass. "You like em?" he inclined his head toward the flowers.

"Yes" she smiled. "You didn't have to though."

"Wanted to. Thought they might bring that smile back but I see Chibs already managed that."

"Oh shut up and kiss me!" She all but ordered him smiling. He obliged as she moved across the bed for him to lie next to her. It felt good to have his lips and hands upon her once more.

"You'll be by yourself for a couple of hours later. That ok?" he said.

"I'll be okay."

"You sure? I can have one of the prospects come sit with you." he offered.

"I'll be fine. I'm not gonna try and off myself again."

"I wasn't suggesting you would. Just thought you wanted the company."

"I'll be fine. I could do with the time to get a few things straight in my head now that I'm not so damned tired."

He opened his mouth to speak but she put her hand over it. "And before you say anything I know it was self inflicted."

He took her hand away from his mouth and kissed her lips lightly. "I'm just glad I found you in time." She kissed him back. "I am too" she whispered.

They lay there entwined just kissing until he had to leave.

"Oh Tiggy?" she called him back as he was about to close the door a little later on.

"Yeah Baby?"

"I nearly forgot. Tara said I can go home tomorrow."

"Great. I'll be here to take you."

"But your place?" she asked "I don't want to go back to mine."

"Sure Baby. I'll be back in a couple hours."

"Okay".

Stacey had been right that first night she'd called him. She had fallen for him. She'd wanted to say I love you as he left but she wasn't sure of the response she'd get. Despite what Chibs had said, as far as she knew it was all just sex to him. Besides there was still so much she didn't know about him and he of her. Either of them could decide they wanted out once they knew everything there was to know about each other. She'd never told anyone the real reason she'd tried to kill herself before but she knew she would end up telling him. There was something about him that she found so calming which was strange as his nature was anything but. She found him so easy to talk to and felt that he wouldn't judge anything she had to say. She was sure he'd probably think her a monster for what she did but she had no doubt he probably had a few skeletons of his own hidden away.

"Hey Darl," her thoughts were interrupted by Stacey entering the room. She smiled glad to see her closest and oldest friend. They'd been friends since the second grade.

"Where have you been?" She asked knowing that this was the first time Stacey had visited in the three days she'd been there.

"Tig told me you were sleeping most of the time so I decided to wait till you were awake more." she said. "He called me just before to tell me you were doing better."

"He did? Did he ask you to visit?"

"No." Stacey answered "Why would you ask that?"

"Oh no reason. He didn't want me to be alone before is all. Said he'd get one of the prospects to stay with me while the rest of them were doing something."

"And you said no so he called me instead knowing I'd visit?"

"Pretty much. He's barely left my side Stace. If he hasn't been here one of the others has been."

"That's pretty sweet. Seems like he really cares about you".

"Yeah I think he does." Cass smiled.

"He told me what happened and what you did. What were you thinking Cass?"

"I don't think I was thinking Stace. I just wanted to get those photos Roosevelt showed me out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes it was all I saw."

"They must have been pretty gruesome."

"They were horrible Stace."

"I have to ask hon - had you been taking your meds before this happened?"

"Not properly I guess. I don't feel like I need to when I'm with Tig. But save me the lecture please I'm sure I'll get one tomorrow before they'll let me go home."

"Probably." Stacey smiled. "I wasn't going to though. I just worry about you sometimes."

"Thank you for calling him by the way. I probably wouldn't be here if you hadn't."

"Glad you are and I'll bet he is too."

"You know you were right?"

"I always am, but what about this time?"

"I am falling for him. These past few days every time I woke and saw him sitting there in that chair it felt so good. Like it was meant to be."

Stacey smiled. "I told ya so." They both giggled like they were kids again and continued to do so as they talked throughout the afternoon.

"That laugh is like music to my ears Baby." Tig said as he came in a little later carrying a duffle bag. "Thought you might like some clothes to wear home tomorrow."

"Thanks" she smiled

"I'm gonna get going Cass. Have fun going home tomorrow."

"You know I will. Bye Stace."

"Take care of her okay?" She added to Tig.

He nodded. "I will."

He dropped the bag on the chair and crossed over to the bed, kissing her forehead. "I can't be here tonight Baby but I'll be back to get you in the morning okay?"

"Where will you be?"

"Club business." He answered knowing he'd soon need to elaborate on that answer.

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning then I guess."

He could tell she didn't like not knowing exactly what that meant but he wasn't ready to start with telling her all just yet. When they were home he'd start by telling her about Donna. If she stuck around after hearing that then he knew she'd be old lady material. Old Lady Material? Had he really just thought that? Jesus Christ this woman had to be something special for him to be thinking Old Lady.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Trigger warning on this chapter where we finally get Cassidy's backstory.**

* * *

Chapter 7:

As promised he was back the next morning to take her home just as Tara was finishing up with her discharge papers.

"Now I shouldn't need to tell you to start taking these properly again." She said meaning the newly filled pill bottles on the table between them. Cass swept them off the table into the duffel bag Tig had brought in the night before as he walked into the room.

"Even if you feel you don't need to okay? Promise?" Tara continued.

"Yeah I promise Tara."

"Okay well you're free to go. I don't wanna see you back here."

Cass smiled. "I can assure you that you won't. I hate hospitals."

"And Cassidy? Remember what I said. You ever need to talk about the whole crazy club thing; you know where I am okay?" Tara said as Tig led her out the door.

"Thanks Tara."

"She called you Cassidy." Tig said as they walked down the corridor to the exit.

"I asked her to. I spent near 10 years of my life hiding from who Cassidy was. I'm ready to face my past I guess." she answered him. "I'll explain later." she continued in response to his questioning gaze. "Right now I just want to be home and lying in your arms."

"And that's exactly where you're headed." he said as he unlocked the SUV he'd borrowed from Jax. It felt good that he accepted her referring to his place as home.

"We figured out what happened to Den if you wanted to know." he said as he drove.

"Oh yeah? How'd he end up like that?"

"Turns out he double crossed us and tried to do a deal with the Niners. They weren't so forgiving when he turned up without their money."

"Idiot." she said. "Did he know about us?"

"Yeah. He figured it out."

"Good." she said as they pulled up in his driveway.

"You brought some of my stuff over." she said seeing the splashes of color across his lounge room. It had been devoid of color and all personal effect last time she'd been there.

"Figured after what you said last night you'd be spending more time here. May as well make you feel at home. Here are your keys back."

She took them from him and dropped them on the kitchen counter. "Take me to bed." He obliged scooping her up and carrying her to his bedroom, the bed now made up with her bed linen.

They made love slowly and sensually, relishing every touch that they'd both missed for nearly a week.

Afterwards they lay entwined for the longest time before either of them spoke. She traced a finger around his tattoos as he curled his fingers in and out of her hair.

"I killed her." he said as she began tracing around the one on his chest. It was her favorite one. She inclined her head back a little so she could see his face as he went on. "Her name was Donna and she was Opie's wife. He died recently too. I'm not sure if you ever knew him."

She nodded. She remembered the kind hearted one that used to come into her salon. She remembered Donna also. She'd been an occasional customer years ago when she'd first opened. She was aware of what had happened to Donna. Everyone in Charming knew but she was somewhat shocked to learn that it had been Tig responsible for it.

She listened as he went on to explain about the hit that had been put out on Opie and why and how he and Donna had switched cars that night. He told her of the guilt he'd carried around for years afterward especially when they'd learnt it was a set up and Opie was innocent.

"She was a beautiful person. But it was an accident, a terrible tragic one but an accident all the same." She said once he was done. She lay on his chest resting her chin on her arms that were crossed over it.

"Wait you knew her?" he asked.

"I remember her. She came into the salon a few times just after I'd opened it. More to the point I remember Opie. He would come in to get her sometimes."

"So you still wanna do this? Be with me I mean?"

She could see the remorse in his eyes. She knew that he'd harbored the guilt of that night for a long time. "Of course. Like I said it was an accident babe. I know there's probably more shit you've done that you're not telling me yet but I also know that one day you will and I'll still be here to listen."

"You're a remarkable woman Cassidy." He rolled her over to her back so that he could lay between her thighs his hands resting against the sides of her breasts.

"You really think so?" He nodded cupping one of her breasts and bringing it to his lips. She wriggled her way out from under him, sitting up and bringing the sheet up around herself.

"I'm far from perfect Alex." she said quietly. He realized then that she only ever used his first name when she really needed him to listen.

"I'm here to listen when you're ready talk Baby." he said moving slightly to stroke his hand against her knee. She instinctively wanted to pull away from him but resisted the urge to do so.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she began.

"I grew up in a little town just outside of Tucson, Arizona. It was barely a dot on the map. My father left before I can remember and from then on it was just me and mom. We should have been happy and for a time, maybe till I was about 5, I remember loving her. But I soon began to see why he left. Once I hit grade school it became even harder. She was an alcoholic. I knew that I spent my time cleaning up after her. Getting myself ready for school. Doing for myself all the things my mother should have been doing for me. I didn't play outside like the other kids. I stayed inside doing all the things my mother never got to. I spent so much time making sure no one knew. Except Stacey, from the second grade we were inseparable.

Whenever she was over my mother tried so much harder. But she always smelt of alcohol or was still hung-over.

By the time I was in high school our roles had all but switched. I did everything including holding back her hair as she puked, carrying her to bed most nights and making sure she didn't drink so much that she killed herself because I knew one day she would." She sighed a deep heavy sigh before continuing.

"I didn't think things could get any worse until she had this boyfriend. I heard them having sex nearly every night. One night they had a fight. I don't know what it was about but she told him he was getting any that night. I heard her tell him to leave but he didn't. Instead he came into my room. He sat at the end of my bed and said that if he couldn't get it from my mother, he'd get it from me, and then he raped me. I was 16 that first time. It continued for over a year. Every time my mother turned him away he would force himself upon me. My mother never heard my screams as she was passed out drunk and she didn't believe me when I told her."

Tig's eyes were fixed on her as she spoke. He knew now that she'd suffered far more pain than he'd realized. He stroked his hand against her knee and waited for her to continue. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes.

"I stuck it out till the end of high school," she continued "but I had to get away. I'd had enough of looking after my mother and I feared going to bed every night as it was after I was in bed that her boyfriend would show up. More often than not he would rape me anyway whether my mother had sex with him or not. He raped me nearly every night for close on two years. My life was a living hell when I left home. I went to Phoenix, studied hairdressing. It was something Stacey and I were always going to do from when we were little kids. We laid out our life plans to one day open our own salon. But it was going to be in Hollywood not Charming." A smile briefly flashed across his face.

"Not long after moving away from home I met Den and we got married pretty soon after. I suppose I was desperate to move on from who I had been. My mother was always the only one to call me Cassidy. And after what her boyfriend did to me night after night I didn't want to be Cassidy anymore. By marrying Den I was no longer Cassidy Reign, I was Cass Carmichael and for a time I liked it but then you already know how well that turned out." She smiled a sad smile.

"About a year later Den was out of town for the weekend, probably already cheating and gambling, so for whatever reason I decided to visit her. I think I hoped that she'd changed in my absence. But as soon as I pulled up in the driveway I knew nothing had. The only difference was the house was a mess because I wasn't there to clean it up. I walked into close on two years of filth. She seemed to manage the basics like dishes and washing clothes but nothing else. I knew her boyfriend was still on the scene but he didn't come over that night and for that I am forever grateful.

She was actually fairly sober for how I remembered her but maybe she just hadn't gotten started that day. We spoke well into the night. She told me she had missed me and she wished I'd come back home. I reminded her that I was married now and that wasn't going to happen. She hadn't come to the wedding as she said she was too busy. Truth be told she was probably drunk." She sighed as she continued.

"She didn't like Den much but she promised me that if we moved back she'd change and get help. I told her I'd talk to Den and that I'd stay the night and help her sort things out in the morning. 'This is the last drink I'll ever have' she had said pouring herself a rather generous glass of vodka. There was still well over half the bottle left and I should have poured it down the sink but I didn't. Stupidly I left it there on the table in front of her and went to bed in my old room.

"I woke up real early the next morning to a loud thud in the bathroom next to my room. It was still dark. I knew then before even looking that she had kept drinking after I'd gone to bed. I went into the bathroom and found her lying on the floor in a puddle of her own vomit and blood, the vodka bottle empty beside her. She'd hit her head on the bathtub as she passed out. She was on her back and suddenly started to choke and I knew I should have called an ambulance but I didn't. I could have helped her but I suddenly didn't want to anymore. Instead I sat there on the cold bathroom floor next to her and watched her die.

"I sat there probably for hours next to her dead body as dawn approached. Once I saw the sun come up I called an ambulance. I told them I'd found her like that. As soon as they let me leave, I went home. Somehow Stacey had heard what had happened, from her own parents I guessed. She was there to meet me and would have seen the vacant, lost look in my eyes. I saw it too in the bathroom mirror after I convinced her to leave. I got a paring knife from the knife block on the kitchen counter. I ran a bath as hot as I could stand. I undressed, stepped into it and slashed my wrists."

Tig had not moved the entire time she'd been speaking. But now he sat up and gently took her arms from where she held them crossed over her breasts. He turned her hands over and for the first time noticed the white spidery scars that ran down the veins of both her wrists. He kissed them both.

It was his tender touch that caused the tears to begin sliding down her cheeks. "Den must have gotten home not long after. He said I was nearly dead when he found me and for weeks afterwards I wished that he hadn't. After that I was diagnosed as bi polar. They put me on all the meds you saw that night. Afterwards Den moved us here to Charming. I still have no idea why he chose Charming of all places. I guess he figured it was small town like I grew up in and far enough away that I'd get the fresh start he insisted that I needed. When I opened my salon a year or so later I asked Stacey to be my partner in it so she moved out here also. To this day everyone around me thought my actions were because I'd found my mother like that. No one ever knew that I'd killed her. I killed my own mother Alex."

He pulled her towards him and held her in a firm embrace. He felt her tears trickle down through his chest hairs.

"I'd hardly say you killed her baby. There's a big difference between killing someone and what you did."

"But I didn't help her. If I had she might still be here today."

"Maybe. And maybe things would still be exactly the same as they were."

"But I let her die. What gave me the right to choose her time like that?"

"I'm hardly the one to answer that Baby." He said as he stroked his hand up and down her back. "But I do know that you need to let go of the guilt you've been holding onto all these years."

He held her till her tears began to subside. "I never even grieved her death. I wouldn't let myself."

"Let it go Baby. She's in a better place."

She nodded. "Yeah. I know."

"What about your father. You see him again?"

"He came back a few times to see me. Never stuck around too long though. The last time I saw him was her funeral. I hear from him now maybe a couple of times a year."

"And her boyfriend?"

"I was always afraid he would track me down, right from when I left home but I've never seen him since. He knows I was there the night she died though and that has always scared the hell out of me. That he would come after me demanding to know what happened."

"You're safe with me Baby." He whispered wiping a tear away from her cheek.

"Thank you Babe. I'm still terrified he'll turn up some day though."

"I can have Juice look into him if you want. Does he know what you did?"

"No one does except you. I never told anyone else about the rape either. So you see I'm far from perfect, Alex. Do you still want me?"

"Do you see me going anywhere?"

She smiled and held to him tight. She'd begun to deeply fear losing him.

* * *

 **A/N: The next chapter will be Gemma's dinner from Cassidy's perspective and will be the last chapter posted here for a while. Cassidy will continue on in Life As We Know It and chapters will be posted here as needed.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This chapter is the dinner that takes place in chapter 2 of Life As We Know It but is from Cassidy's perspective. This is also where Leather and Cigarettes and Life As We Know It begin to crossover.**

* * *

Chapter 8:

"Come on baby," he urged. "It'll be fine. You know most of them anyway."

Still she lingered in the bathroom making sure everything about her appearance was perfect.

"I know it's just well …I want them to like me." It was the first family dinner she would attend.

"Trust me baby. They will." He assured her. "Now come on Gemma will kill us if we're late."

Her natural red hair swept down across one shoulder as she turned toward him. "You look beautiful as always now come on." He took her hand and dragged her from the room.

"Here, put this on" he said handing her his helmet once they were outside.

"We're taking your bike?" she asked. "But my hair."

"Will be fine!" He growled as she knotted it back on itself looping it at the nape of her neck before placing his helmet on her head and tightening the strap.

"Good. Now get on or do you need help with that?" He teased. She hadn't ridden with him before. It was turning into a night of firsts for her. "I'm sure I can manage," she snarled back at him as she swung her leg over behind him and held tight to his waist. "You ready?" he asked.

"I think so." He heard her answer quietly before his Harley roared to life. He felt her arms tighten around his waist as he pulled out of the driveway. "Relax baby" he called back to her. "You trust me right?" He saw her nod as they pulled up at a red light. "Then relax and feel the ride baby." He said as he peeled away at the lights.

As they pulled up outside the Teller Morrow house, Cassidy felt she had butterflies fluttering through her stomach. She took off Tig's helmet and handed it to him as she shook her hair loose again before swinging her leg off behind him. "You do that like a pro Baby," he said as he got off himself. She smiled a nervous little smile. "You'll be fine Baby." He said wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He knew how intimidating Gemma could be especially when it meant accepting another woman into the club. "Gemma's not as scary as she'd like you to think." He whispered in her ear as the front door opened and they were welcomed in by Tara.

She'd been in and out of the clubhouse several times in the week that followed her release from hospital but it had only been the previous day that Gemma had issued her a dinner invitation. It hadn't been so much an invitation as an order issued to Tig as Cass had sidled up next to him at the bar. "You're bringing her to dinner tomorrow night." She had said and Cass knew that meant Gemma was ready to accept her into the fold.

Despite having known Gemma for years through her salon, tonight was about acceptance and knowing her on a whole new level. Tig had said earlier in the day to her that she'd be getting what he called the Initiation Speech. Just the very sound of it scared the hell out of her.

"Hey! There you two are. Gemma was readying to send out a search party." Tara said ushering them in.

Cassidy blushed, "Sorry I …" she started. "My fault," Tig interrupted her, "She looked so ravishing I wouldn't let us leave without …"

"Please," Tara interrupted "I don't need to know."

Cassidy flashed Tig a smile. He could read in her eyes the thank you that it meant. "Don't be nervous, baby." He said quietly as Tara moved away. "Gemma will be expecting you to go help out in the kitchen."

"Okay. See you after." She kissed him softly before leaving the comfort of his side. She heard his rare raucous laugh as she entered the kitchen and it brought a smile to her face. She glanced back seeing he and Chibs embrace and slap each other in a show of brotherly affection.

"There you are." Gemma greeted her, looking up from the pot on the stove she was stirring. "I hear Tiggy wanted to lock you up and keep you all to himself?"

"Yeah, something like that." Cassidy smiled.

"We'll talk later," the older woman said sounding somewhat intimidating. "Right now I need you to take over here. Add the tomatoes in a little bit."

"Sure." She said as she moved across the kitchen and cast her eyes around at the other women already at work in the kitchen. A girl, probably not much younger than herself, who sat at the table preparing a salad flashed her a warm smile. Her steely blue eyes glistened along with her smile.

Gemma kept her busy until right before they sat down to eat and in that time her nerves failed to settle. Tig placed his hand on her leg as she took her seat beside him. "Okay?" He asked her quietly. "So far." She smiled relaxing somewhat now she was back at his side.

"We're not that scary sweetheart." Chibs said from across the table. "Well least I'm not. Guess I can't really speak for the rest of these knuckleheads!" Cass smiled and laughed as their friendly banter ensued throughout the meal. They really were like a family and so much more relaxed sitting around this table together sharing a meal than she had ever witnessed at the clubhouse.

Once he finished eating Tig draped his arm around the back of her chair placing his hand on her shoulder. She saw the raised eyebrow looks he got from a couple of the guys around the table. She didn't know all of their names yet but knew the big one with long hair and a shaggy beard was Bobby. He'd seemed to cast her a look of surprise the first time he'd seen her walk into the clubhouse on Tig's arm. She noticed the girl with the warm blue eyes from the kitchen earlier sat next to the bald, scary looking one, her head resting against his side. He seemed to look at Tig with some sort of shared acknowledgement. She could tell that quite often amongst these men there were conversations that took place without words. A shared look, or a flick of the eyes, they knew each other's minds so well that words were not always needed to convey what they wanted to say.

"Cassidy. You wanna help me clear up?" Gemma asked rising from her seat. Cass knew it was not intended as a question. It was expected of her that she would help clear the table with the former Queen of Samcro and that shortly the initiation speech of which Tig had spoken would take place.

Cass rose and collected the empty plates carrying the majority of them to the kitchen in one armload while Gemma collected several serving plates. Tara passed Thomas to Jax and started to help. She saw the pretty blue eyed one rise also. "It's okay ladies. We got this tonight. Enjoy your boys." Gemma told them. Tara cast a look towards Cass as she reentered the room from which Cass understood that if there was anything she needed after Gemma's talk she'd be around. Cass felt her nerves rise in her throat again as she smiled and mouthed 'thank you' back at the other woman. She saw the warm smile the pretty blue eyed one cast at her too. She began to feel a little more at ease than she had previously thought that she would.

Once they were alone in the kitchen, Cassidy stacking the plates into the dishwasher Gemma began.

"Who started it?"She asked. Cass wasn't quite sure she followed. Gemma continued. "The day he picked me up from your salon, I mean."

"He did." Cass answered. "He came back a few days later and gave me his number."

Gemma nodded. "You being straight with him? Not just playing him for what you can get from him?"

"You mean sex?" She asked, "I'm sure I could find less dangerous men to get that from."

Gemma smiled. "I meant with your ex. You weren't some sort of distraction so that he could screw this club over."

"No. Den was an idiot that got what was coming to him. He made his own choices and I had nothing to with them. I had no idea he had anything to do with this club till he wound up dead."

"Does Tiggy know that? What I mean is does he trust you on that?"

"Yeah I think so."

"And that stunt you pulled, landing yourself in hospital like that? What were you out to prove?" Gemma asked somewhat harshly.

Cass felt her blood rising. She was suddenly angered by the insensitivity of the older woman's words. "You mean trying to kill myself after being shown photos of my ex with his face blown off when I had no idea of the sort of shit he'd gotten himself into? I'd hardly call that a stunt where I was trying to prove anything." She snapped.

When Gemma's eyes narrowed she knew she'd stepped over some kind unspoken line in the way she was meant to speak to her. But she was not going to apologize or let the older woman intimidate her.

"Tiggy wouldn't normally go for your type. You sure you didn't pull for the sympathy card?"

Cassidy could hardly believe her ears and knew that she was about to overstep the mark in what she would say next.

"You know what? For whatever reason Tig has decided he wants me around, I hardly think it's any of your business especially not to the point that you're accusing me of attempting suicide to draw him in and make him feel sorry for me."

"It was a stupid thing to do Cassidy and this club doesn't need any extra attention drawn to it. Tig doesn't need someone whose gonna be a constant thorn in his side."

"I know it was a stupid thing to do. Was I thinking that when I was looking at photos of my dead ex? No. I am more than aware of the fact that I could have died. Am I grateful for the fact that Tig found me? Of course I am. Did I intentionally pull the sympathy card to get him into my bed? No. You've known me for years Gemma and I didn't ask for any to this to happen. He didn't even know that Den was my ex husband until after the fact. None of them did. And what I did had absolutely nothing to do with causing drama for this club." Cassidy finished ready for the wrath she had no doubt would follow after such a ballsy come back.

"Do you love him?" Gemma asked the intimidation out of her voice. Cassidy thought carefully about her answer knowing it was going to be the most important thing she'd say.

"Yes. I think I do. He makes me happy and he understands me better than any other person in my life ever has." She answered quietly.

"You love the man, you love the club. There is no separating the two." Gemma responded. "That's what a lot of the girls that come through those doors don't understand. And you my dear have picked one of its most messed up members to fall in love with"

"My life before I came to Charming was anything but normal. I've had a lot of nasty shit happen to me and in a lot of ways I'm just as messed up as he is Gemma. Whether or not that's a good thing I don't know but I'd like to think that is what makes us work."

"You're right Cassidy. I have known you a long time but I think I'm just getting to really know you. I've seen the way he looks at you. He's smitten and he's a calmer person around you. You're good for him Cassidy."

"Does that mean you'll let me stay?" She asked cheekily.

Gemma smiled. "You'll learn not to give me cheek, sweetheart. But yeah, I'll let you stick around."

The dishes were all but finished by the time they were done except for a few of the larger serving plates. "I'll finish up here, sweetheart. You go find that man of yours."

"Thanks Gemma." Cassidy leant over and gave the matriarch a kiss on the cheek. She could tell the woman was taken aback. But then she also saw the warm smile that came across her face as she glanced back on her way out of the room.

* * *

She found Tig in the backyard talking with the bald headed scary one. He pulled her into his lap when she sidled up next to him. "All good?" he asked.

"I survived her cross examination if that's what you mean." She smiled.

"That means you're in." She cast her eyes across to the scary one who had spoken. His voice was rougher than Tig's, deep and almost gravelly. "I'm sorry I don't think I know your name."

"Happy," he answered. "Happy Lowman."

She smiled. It wasn't exactly the name she had been expecting. With a name like that he suddenly didn't seem quite so scary. "Pleased to meet you." She answered.

"And is it Cass or Cassidy?" He asked in his deep gravelly voice.

"Either is fine," She answered. Tig squeezed his arm around her waist, knowing that meant a turning point in the way she thought about herself. She leant back resting her head against his shoulder glancing around the yard. She caught Tara's eye. The other woman gave her a questioning look, she knew in regards to Gemma and how their little chat had gone. She smiled and gave a small little nod. She may have spoken out of line with Gemma but she felt a lot better about her place within the club and felt that by standing her ground she had gained the respect of the Samcro Matriarch.

"You better watch yourself Tiggy." Came Gemma's voice from behind them. She moved to stand at his side. "You've got a feisty one there." She said her hand against her hip. Tig smiled.

"That's the only way they fair well in my world." He ran his hand down Cassidy's thigh.

"She's good for you. Keep her happy." Gemma said gripping his shoulder briefly. She shot Cassidy that same warm smile she'd caught a glimpse of in the kitchen as she walked away towards Jax and the boys on the other side of the yard.

"You must have really done a number on her." Happy observed.

"I probably said some things I shouldn't have but I get the impression she respects me more for it."

"Gemma's not looking for respect. She just wants to know you can hold your own in this little family of hers." Tig said, "But I can tell she thinks a little more highly of you now." He smirked looking proud as punch.

"Sounds like you got an Old Lady Gemma approves of." Happy remarked as the pretty blue eyed one wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Hey enough of the Old Lady," Tig said. "Let's not go there just yet." Cassidy smiled. She knew using that term was a big deal to him and that he was still struggling to place where she fitted in his life. She had caught the tone in his voice when he said 'just yet' and knew that one day he would begin using the dreaded OL term.

"Hell Tiggy. If Happy can admit to having an Old Lady then you must be next." She laughed as Tig glared at her. "Hi, I'm Hailey." She said flashing a smile toward Cass.

"Cassidy." Cass said smiling back. "I'm guessing you're Happy's Old Lady?"

"Yeah. This grumpy one here is mine." She said teasingly. She giggled as Happy pulled her around and into his lap.

"Who you calling' grumpy Princess?" He glowered not unkindly at her.

She whispered something in his ear to which he replied, "Good then get us another beer would ya?" before pushing her off his lap.

"I could do with another too baby. Would ya?" Tig asked Cass.

"Sure babe." She stroked his cheek briefly as she stood up and followed Hailey into the house.

"So you passed Gemma's interrogation?" The other woman asked her as they neared the kitchen.

"Yeah I guess so. Is she always so protective of them all?" She asked.

"Yeah she is. She's always playing mother hen, looking out for her boys as she calls them." Hailey answered reaching into the fridge, and grabbing out two beers and passing them to Cassidy.

"You want one?" She asked reaching in to grab another for herself.

"No thanks. I'm not much of a beer person." Cassidy answered.

Hailey smiled as she closed the fridge. "You soon will be spending time around this lot."

"You seem to know a fair bit about things. How long have you been with Happy?"

"Just over 18 months."

"You've obviously survived Gemma?"

"Haha! Yeah. She isn't that bad but then I more or less grew up on the lot so she had more than a hand in raising me."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Both my dad and my brother were Samcro." Hailey answered as they headed back toward the garden.

"Were?" Cassidy asked eyeing the woman next to her and seeing her eyes take on a sad kind of glazed look.

"They both died recently."

"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" Cassidy said, suddenly putting together in her head who this girl must be. Opie Winston's sister. Tig had told her that he had died recently in prison, and she knew that his father had died only a month or so earlier. She hadn't known that he had a sister.

Hailey gave a small smile in reply.

"You a'right Princess?" Happy asked seeing the exchange between the two women as they approached.

"Yeah Hap." She answered lacing her fingers through his as she sat down beside him. Cassidy saw a quiet look pass between them as she sat on Tig's lap. They certainly seemed in tune with each other.

"How's Lyla doing Hailz?" Tig asked as he lazily stroked his fingers through her hair.

"Not so good. She's gonna let Mary take Kenny and Ellie." Hailey answered him.

"Ah shit." Tig responded.

"I think it might be for the best though. They've been through too much already."

"You changed your tune on Mary?" Happy asked.

"She's trying and to be honest I don't think she wants to see history repeat itself." She said as she took a mouthful of her beer.

"Yeah I don't reckon Ope would want that either." Tig said.

"Nah, he wouldn't." Happy agreed with him.

"Not so sure he'd want Mary raising them though." Tig voiced his concern.

"They'll come back to Charming in the summer like I used to." Hailey said.

She felt Tig's legs convulse beneath her as he chuckled. "As long as Ellie doesn't spray paint my bike hot pink then that should work out alright."

"Don't tell her to be a perfect little princess that loves pink and flowers when she's pissed at you then." Hailey smirked back.

Cassidy gave the two a perplexed look. "Hailey here was quite the little troublemaker when she was a teenager. Sprayed my bike hot pink when she was 17."

"Wow. It's a wonder he let you live." Cassidy commented.

"I probably wouldn't have had she not gone AWOL for 24 hours making us all worried sick about her. Just where did you go that night Hailey? You never did tell any of us."

Cassidy saw the quick glance that Hailey cast at Happy who silenced her with his eyes. "And I never will Tiggy."

"Wait. What was with that look you two just gave each other? She told you where she went that night Hap?" Tig asked, running his hand up to waist, clearly suspicious of the pair in front of him.

"Nah. I didn't even know her then." He didn't seem to be able to hide the half mouthed smirk he cast at Hailey.

"Yeah right. You know something about that night." Tig pressed.

"Even if I did I'd never mention it Tig." Happy answered. "You ready to get out of here Princess?" He added to Hailey giving her a wink.

"Yeah. I think I am." She smiled as she rose to leave, grabbing his hand and pulling him up behind her.

Cassidy saw the smirk that Hailey cast back towards Tig.

"What was that all about?" Cass asked Tig after the other two had left.

"I don't know baby. But I'll be damned if I'm not gonna find out." He answered her.

She gazed upon him with admiration. She loved the warmer, more fun side of him that seemed to come out when he was around his brothers, but especially tonight she noticed it more when he was around Hailey.

"What's with you and Hailey? Did you and her ever …" She trailed off not wanting to cast the suspicion that her words were loaded with.

"What? No baby! She's a bit younger than you. I watched her grow up. Opie was her brother."

"Yeah I figured that out when she told me her brother and father died recently."

"She's like a little sister to me, Baby, to all of us really, except Hap of course."

"I figured it was something like that I just … I don't know."

"Want me all to yourself?"

"Yeah." She smiled brushing her lips against his. "Can we head home too Babe?"

He saw the look of lust begin to build in her striking green eyes. "Sure Baby."

* * *

Their lives together became somewhat normal after that. She'd stayed living in his house because she couldn't face going back to her own. She knew that she loved him even if she couldn't find the words. They made love every night no matter the time he was home. Sometimes she waited up for him, other times he woke her. Sometimes it was slow and sensual. They took their time relishing every touch. Other times it was urgent, hot and rough. If he was going to be out on a run and not back for several days she wanted to know. And she made him promise her that she was the only one. No whores. She knew business would take him to Diosa, but no touching. He was hers only.

After sex was when they talked. She had demanded that he tell her everything and he had agreed to but without details. She had however learnt not to question him, especially when he came home roughed up or with blood on his clothes. She knew that more often than not it wasn't his own. She knew that he would tell her in his own time, and that questioning him before he was ready to talk only resulted in him clamming up and shutting her out. Sex first, words later became an unspoken agreement between them.

The night he told her about Dawn's death she had held him all night. Once he stopped crying his dreams were fitful. She held him till morning light. He awoke and kissed her. They made love like never before.

* * *

 **A/N: So this will be the last chapter posted here for a while. Cassidy's story continues in Life As We Know It which will remain mostly from Hailey's perspective but will slowly begin to introduce more of Cassidy's. I will continue to update this as needed when Cassidy has a different perspective on something that doesn't necessarily fit into the main story and due to that this story will seem to time jump quite a bit but I will make that and any other notes needed clear. The next chapter of Life As We Know It is still being finalized but will hopefully be up soon. Thanks for your continued interest in my stories. I'm flattered by your kind words and praise in your reviews. Please keep them coming!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay so let me be clear that a fair amount of time has passed since the last chapter here. In the world of Life As We Know It about 6 weeks has passed since Gemma's dinner.**

* * *

"Cassidy you got a minute?" Gemma called as she locked her car.

"Sure" Cass answered as she saw Hailey giggling at Happy's side as he led her into the clubhouse seemingly with only one thing on their minds. She'd come by the lot hoping Tig would be around. She looked around to see that his Harley wasn't parked in its usual spot. The only other bike missing was Jax's.

"What's up Gemma?" Cassidy asked as she approached the reception area of the garage. "There's a lot of shit going down here lately. I just wanted to check you're okay?" The matriarch asked her.

"I think so.' she replied, "Sometimes I live just to know that he's okay."

"Welcome to the family sweetheart."

"Where's he at right now?" She asked. She had something intuitive going on. That's why she'd stopped by in the middle of the day. Something wasn't right. She always feared losing him but she feared it more right now.

"I don't know sweetheart. He and Jax took off a little while ago." Gemma answered. "But he'll be okay. You're his anchor in this world honey."

"And he's mine." Cassidy said smiling.

"Who would have thought Tig would find his match," Gemma lamented. "He tells you what goes down?"

"Most of it."

"Good. Cause nothing doesn't work so well. He knows that."

"I might wait inside till they get back." Cassidy said distractedly.

"You sure you're okay sweetheart?"

"Yeah. But I'll be better once he's back. Just got a feeling something's not right today."

Gemma stared after her, watching her make her way across the tarmac to the clubhouse. She still marveled that there was a woman in this world who had managed to ground Tig. What surprised her more was that this woman had been under her nose for the past six years while she'd been visiting her salon on a near monthly basis and she had never picked her to be a match for Tig. Whatever it was that she brought into his world she was good for him.

Inside the clubhouse Chibs was stitching up some rather nasty gashes on a dog.

"Where'd she come from?" Cass asked as she entered. "Tiggy rescued her from the dog fighting ring we just raided." She smiled. That sounded like her Tiggy.

"Where'd they go? He and Jax?"

"Out following a lead." Cass noticed he refused to look at her as he spoke.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" She asked.

"Not my place to tell it. But he might be a little messed up tonight."

"He's always a little messed up." She responded without hesitation.

Chibs chuckled. "Maybe a little more than usual then."

"Either you're a very patient woman or the sex is amazing." Bobby piped up from where he sat a little across the room.

"Probably a little of both." She smiled. "What's this little lady's name?" She said turning her attention to the pit bull and scratching behind her ears.

"Hasn't got one."

"Well I'm gonna call you Bonnie." She said crooning at the dog. "C'mon, come with me." She continued to the dog once Chibs was done stitching her up and took her over to the couch.

She glanced up to see Happy and Hailey come down the hallway from the dorm rooms a while later. They were arm in arm seemingly deep in conversation.

"Hey Cass. What brings you here?" Hailey asked as she approached while Happy headed toward the bar.

"I don't know. I just don't have a good feeling about today. I feel like Tig is gonna need me when he gets back."

Hailey nodded. "I guess I can understand that." She answered as Happy came to join them, two beers in his hand one of which he handed to Hailey.

"You want anything Cass?" He asked before he sat down.

"Nah, thanks Hap."

* * *

Sometime later Jax and Tig arrived back. Tig said nothing when he saw Cassidy sitting on the sofa in the clubhouse, Happy and Hailey across from her. The dog he'd rescued was next to her its head rested on her lap. He didn't seem surprised to see her despite how rarely she was there. Usually only a lockdown would see her spending significant time at the clubhouse. He sat in the armchair next to her and the dog immediately jumped off and into his lap.

"I called her Bonnie." Cassidy told him.

"Bonnie huh?" he said to the dog as he scratched her ears and nuzzled her face, letting her lick him.

Cassidy could tell by the set of his shoulders, the darkness in his eyes and the blank look upon his face that something big had transpired that afternoon.

As the afternoon wore on, he continued just sitting paying all his attention to the dog. Happy and Hailey had moved away and was playing cards with Phil across the room. Cassidy watched the man she'd grown to have such strong feelings for and knew that this was what he needed. He was already a different man to the anxious and haunted one that had stepped through the clubhouse doors a few hours earlier. The set of his shoulders had relaxed and his eyes had lost the darkness they had held earlier to be replaced with a look similar to the calm she often saw in them as they made love.

Cassidy rose and placed her hand on his shoulder as she passed by him. He met her eyes and she saw there the unspoken understanding of what he needed from her. She knew he'd fill her in on the events of the day that had left him so rattled after. She kissed the top of his head in acknowledgment as she moved away to go join the others, leaving Tig alone as she knew he wanted.

* * *

Later, when they were alone she could feel his need. She sat waiting at the bar in the clubhouse while he locked up the garage.

"We going home?" She asked as he came back in.

"Not yet." He joined her at the bar and slid his hand up the skirt of her ruffled, short, black dress and parted her legs. He pulled her to him sliding her underwear down. He stroked her clit feeling her shudder at his touch. He unbuttoned his jeans and bit her neck as she touched him. He was hard, hot and ready. She wasn't as wet as he wanted but he didn't care. He muffled her scream with his hand as he thrust his entirety into her. She grimaced painfully until her insides expanded and the initial friction eased.

She hooked her legs around his waist allowing him to plunge his entire length deep inside of her. He plunged his tongue deep into her mouth and kissed her fiercely, thrusting wildly as her hands pulled at his hair and clawed at his shoulders. He wasn't usually so rough and he was hurting her but she knew he needed this. His hands held hard to her hips as he thrust into her again and again. He pounded her harder, her back pounding against the edge of the bar behind her.

Tears began to well in her eyes at the pain building in her back but as he came closer to his climax she felt him relax. His grip on her hips lessened and his thrusts became less hard and deeper. The fire building inside her masked the pain in her back. He slid an arm around her back and pulled her against him. She gasped and moaned breathlessly almost in disbelief of how deep inside of her he now was. His pace slowed and a deep moan escaped his throat as they both climaxed together.

He scooped her into his arms and carried her over to the couch still inside of her.

"Holy crap babe. What's gotten into you tonight?" She almost whispered as he dumped her down on the couch and landed on top of her. He slid out of her and pulled away just a little before he spoke. He saw the tears that lingered at the corners of her eyes.

"Sorry," he said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll mend. What was that all about?"

"I nearly fucking died today baby." He said buttoning his jeans back up.

She was sure she felt her heart stop for a moment. "Are you serious?"

He nodded as he sat up and pulled her up with him. They sat, legs entwined, his arms around her shoulders as he continued. "Jax handed me over to Pope. Had some kinda deal going on."

"Wait babe. Pope's the one that killed Dawn?"

"Yeah. Jax had been plotting this. He fucking handed me over to him. Gave me to him like a lamb to the slaughter baby. Fucking Pope, he had a gun to my head when Jax came in guns blazing and called his bluff. Jax gave me the gun and I killed him baby. I killed the fucker that tortured my baby girl to death."

She held him close.

"I swear I thought he'd betrayed me Cassidy. I thought I was gonna die and never see your beautiful face again."

"I knew something big was going down today Babe. I could feel it. That's why I was here when you got back.

He held his hand against the back of her head and brought her lips to his. "How did I get so lucky finding you Cassidy?"

She smiled "I can't imagine my world without you in it Tiggy." She buried her face into his shoulder before she whispered into his ear, "I love you." He dragged his fingers through her hair before kissing the top of her head softly.

"Let's go home now baby." He whispered back.

* * *

They made love a second time that night. He gently kissed all the bruises that were forming across her hips and her back before making love to her slowly and sensually relishing every crevice of her body. Each and every touch made her burn with building ecstasy. It was the first time she felt that he was truly making love to her. For the first time it wasn't just about sex and his need to use her to feel calm. He had been completely calm when they'd started. Afterwards he looked her straight in the eyes.

"I love you too baby. Marry me Cassidy."

She explored his eyes to check it wasn't just the aftermath of sex talking. "Are you sure?"

"Be my Old Lady Cassidy." She knew for him to use the dreaded OL term that he was definitely serious. She smiled the most contented happiest smile that he had ever seen on her face.

"I'd love nothing more than to be your Old Lady Alex. Yes. A million fucking times yes."

* * *

 **A/N: So from here on in I am pretty sure that Tig and Cass will continue on in Life As We Know It being integrated in and out of Hap and Hailey's story. Thanks for your reviews and if there is ever anything concerning these too that I may only touch upon in Life As We Know, please let me know and I'd be happy to look at making it into a one shot or chapter to add here.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter and it doesn't seem too out of character for Tig but Cass really is his grounding point and who knows - he's had a really stressful day. I've always wondered what would have happened if Tig had a lady to go home to after this day and not just the dog to take comfort in!**


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